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(Source: manueluv)







All it does is show me you have a superiority complex and deep rooted classist tendencies. I’ve been a waitress, a barista and a sales associate, so your talking down to others just tells me at one point you would’ve talked down to me. This guy in the queue tried to buy me a coffee today, after ripping into the guy behind the counter about his skills and his job. Don’t care what people do for a living, if you don’t treat ‘em like (very important) people when you deal with them, we can’t be friends.

"A person who is nice to you but cruel to the waiter isn’t a nice person."

I don’t understand how people don’t get this

It is terrifying. It means if you don’t adhere to their demands or if you make on little mistake, they can turn on you. I don’t deal with people who are nasty to others.

Fucking *this*.

(It is a busy Saturday night. During the dinner rush, I have been dealing with a table of two 20-something year old men. The blonde one has found something to complain about every time I’ve walked by while the brown-haired one just blushes and stays quiet. They’ve finished their meal.)

Blonde Man: “Are you new here?”

Me: “No, sir. I’ve been a waitress here for two years and three years at [other restaurant] prior.”

Blonde Man: “Then you have no excuse for how terrible this service was. The salad was wilty, and the entree was way too cold, and you were nowhere to be found. Plus, this place is far too noisy; I could barely hear myself speak! Honestly, I get better service at a fast food place.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. While there isn’t much I can do about the noise, I did offer to bring you different food before, but you said no.”

Blonde Man: *waves me off* “Just bring me the check, and try not to be so slow about it for once.”

(I go and get the check, but when I return, the brown-haired man stands up and hands me a $20 bill.)

Brown-haired Man: “Here, this is your tip. He wasn’t going to give you one. As a former waiter myself, I thought you were doing a perfectly fine job. My food was great, and the service was fast even though you’re so busy right now.”

(He turns to his blonde companion.)

Brown-haired Man: “People like you made my job so much worse, especially for making us work that much harder for no tip. So thanks for the meal, but you can go ahead and delete my number because there will be no second date. And by the way,potjevleesch is supposed to be served cold, you idiot.”

(With that, he left the restaurant without his date. It made the whole night worth it, to see that blonde man speechless for once.)


Anonymous asked:

Advice for writers when it comes to writing NC-17 material?




1) Don’t over think it. I mean make sure what you’re having them do is physically possible of course but don’t sit there and plot it out. Your characters will let you know what they want to do. 

2) Be specific. Don’t use overly flowery language to try to be coy with what you’re talking about. Your characters are fucking. Let them fuck. Which isn’t to say that they can’t make love or that it can’t be romantic and soft but come on, no one thinks the use of manhood is an acceptable term for cock. 

Similarly with adjectives, they can certainly help but use too many of them and you have things like his quivering sheathed manhood. Again, not pretty. It’s hard to say how to describe it but flowery language does not, in my opinion, make for a good NC-17 scene. It’s like you want there to be an adult scene but you’re put off by adult language. And that’s not sexy. 

I find the best way to describe these scenes is to be honest, not always blunt but not to try to be coy. Say what’s happening and then go back and add in adjectives as necessary.

3) Above all, go and read porn. I know right? Awesome tip. Go and read fic with sex scenes and adult scenes and find ones you like. Look at how they write and what they’re saying that makes you like it. Obviously everyone likes their porn a different way but discovering what you LIKE to read and like to see makes it so much easier to write yourself. Once you know “hey I like using the word cock” or my current personal favourite (and Mandeh’s) “hey saying he has a chubby in his pants is really hot” you start to become more familiar and comfortable with using sexual scenes and language in your own writing and then it feels very natural. And that’s good. 

I have way too many ideas on how to write porn. But I hope this helps anon! And I’ll say, Mandeh, as my official co-porninator if you have anything you’d like to add as well? 

4) Try not to be too repetitive, and keep in mind what realistic sex looks like. Obviously sometimes you just want the fantasy of porn but there are other things that are realistic that just add to it. Like positions - in my experience, sex is rarely just going at it in one position for a stretched out length of time. Personally, I also find little touches like someone stopping or slowing down because they’re too close really hot. 

5) Don’t ignore the mess. Sex is messy and sometimes the mess is fun. I feel let down when I read 3k of a sex scene and it ends with “and Kurt came.” If they’re going bare, describe what it’s like. If they’re using a condom, describe that, too. If you’re writing marathon sex then you don’t need to every time, of course, but… I’m a fan. 

6) Dirty talk is good - if you think that’s what the character would say. I mean, you’ve got a lot of creative license there since we don’t actually see any of these people legitimately having sex, but I appreciate porn that still seems in character to me. 

7) Count your limbs. This kind of goes back to what Mav said about things being physically possible, but from personal experience - it’s important to count the limbs. You get overly eager and end up with five hands doing different things if you’re not careful. 

8) Foreplay is just as useful in fic as it is in real life. I enjoy the sex so much better when there’s been a delicious build up and it’s not straight to dicks in asses every time. 

Mandeh put in some amazing tips here so I’m reblogging for her awesome additions.

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